The GOP Wouldn’t Know ‘Real Rape’ From a Real Bear

Should have been a simple review of a mainstream holiday movie from FOX Studios. I’m referring to the new Leonardo Di Caprio film, The Revenant, “a frontier-set revenge story where a wild bear is one of the many harsh elements Leo has to contend with.” The movie will open on Christmas day.

Enter that uptight bastion of right wing drivel, the Drudge Report, who drops this “bombshell” in their post on the film:

The bear flips Leo over and thrusts and thrusts during the explicit mauling. “He is raped — twice!” ~The Drudge Report

Known more for colorful exposes as opposed to say, Pulitzer caliber reporting, even the Daily UK cast doubts at the top of their glossy click-baiting article. Quickly GQ and The NY Daily News were saying WTF. But leave to our friends at TMZ to button it up all pithy like and perfect …

A spokesperson for FOX told EW, “The bear in the film is a female who attacks [Leo] because she feels he might be threatening her cubs … there is clearly no rape scene with a bear.”
Case closed. No bear rape. It’s still unclear why anyone saw the attack as sexual in its nature. ~TMZ

Perhaps if Matt Drudge wasn’t such a self-hating closet case, he would be able to develop a proper perspective of what a healthy, proper expression of the beauty of sexuality would be — and not seeing a fight between an actor and a bear in movie as a violent incident of homosexual bestiality.

As a Republican mouthpiece, Matt, surely you remember when U.S. Representative Todd Akin became former Representative Akin after defending his anti-abortion stance in 2012 don’t you? You also must recall that he is against any abortions including following incidences of rape or incest. You could not have forgotten this sentence that ended his career, “If it’s legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down.” How’d that work out for you all?

The lesson overlooked is for Matt Drudge, Ted Cruz and every other wing nut out there to stop all utterances and instances of the word rape until they understand that those four letters forever change a person’s life and are not to be bandied about like indiscriminate adjectives. Although I do have half a mind to show some hardcore gay porn right here and now to really make them toss them tacos, I found a clip they will hate even more …

Every time one of “them” says it, it only getting them deeper in trouble. But perhaps the most troubling thing of all is that how as a collective body they report about and legislate the hate crimes of rape law when none of them has any clue what either of them really means.

Oh politician, govern thyself.

 
Finally, Matt Dodge, I only mean this metaphorically.

PS: Don’t worry, they have closets in hell too!

Tags: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Drudge, scandals, The Revenant