You’re going to Chicago for the Grabby gay porn awards. You used Kayak to find a cheap flight, Priceline to find a decent hotel room. But who’s to help you find a gay porn hooker that’s not a wallet buster? Us, that’s who! After the jump, nine gay porn star escorts from the bottomest deals to the toppest dollars!

Jason Sparks ($100)

With rates “starting at $100″ for “massage”, the man behind Jason Sparks Live is the best deal in town! He doesn’t get in front of the camera too often anymore, but you could probably even come out of this ahead if you let him film it on a webcam. But expect extra for fisting lessons. Or smiles.

“Christian” ($200)

Score a discount with this “sometimes safe” Treasure Island Media star by doing an in-call at his hotel room at the Chicago Marriott! And think of the money you’ll save money on condoms!

Andrew Justice ($250)

“If you want the boyfriend experience I’m your guy,” writes the bisexual porn star who served time in 2008 for stalking and harassing an ex-girlfriend.
 
 

Tyler Wolf ($275)

The top draw at Falcon for Tahoe: Snowpacked is priced to move at $275. Even better, he boasts a connection to another top porn escort who does not advertise. They mystery man is worth the price alone!
 
 

Vito Gallo ($300)

“Open minded so let‘s not be shy.” Oh, we won’t be, Vito!
 
 

Trenton Ducati ($350)

He won “Best Porn Star Escort” at the Hookies earlier this year, so I guess you’re paying a premium for that.
 
 

Nick Sterling ($250-300)

He has an ass of gold, a B.A. in literature, and “a wide range of interests.” The 29-year-old Randy Blue star boasts “I enjoy conversation as well,” though I can’t image wasting any of my precious time doing anything but resting my face on his pillowy ass cheeks.
 
 

Austin Wolf ($375)

The 2013 winner for Best Top knows his value. Only a few months ago, he was going for a bargain priced $300, but since he’s risen like bitcoin. But that’s also because he’s more than a pretty face. One reviewer notes Wolf “appears to lack significant narcissistic traits, let alone the antisocial or borderline tendencies that are unfortunately not that uncommonly found amongst escorts and non-escorts alike.” Maybe he can help you, too. Even at $375, that’s cheaper than time on an analyst’s couch.
 
 

Chase Hunter ($500)

The star of Basic Plumbing (and Basic Plumbing 3) may not be up for any awards, but he’s coming out for International Mr. Leather and is “GUARANTEED TO SHOW YOU A VERY GOOD TIME.” Catch him at the Hyatt Regency 24/7. Of course, at $500 an hour, true stars don’t come cheap.

There are few men in porn who know how to film sex like Joe Gage. And there are few people who drive me as crazy as Tate Ryder. Who, it seems, has daddy issues …

If 24 year old Tate Ryder is, indeed, the hottest man in gay porn, this oughta give a lot of you us hope. More …

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FULL TRAILER: Jack Harrer, Alex Waters and Austin Merrick

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Dominic Ford has launched a new six-part series featuring sex in a sex club. Needless to say, I don’t think Bryce Evans of Jeremy Stevens need a much script. And frankly, if I saw Jeremy Steven in a sex club, I wouldn’t need much of anything.

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Then, they ask why porn studios still bother with scripts. This is what I tell them.

1. Most scripts are really just scenarios
Sure, you can just have two guys having sex in a room, but it gets repetitive pretty quickly. It helps — even in these movie-less days of fifteen minute scenes — it helps to have a a framing device. When done right, a porn script is like salt. It brings out that’s already there. (Also, like salt, too much can ruin a dish.) And so you deal with simple fantasies that highlight the guys, and help explain why these two random guys have suddenly begun fucking. A guy bringing home a hooker. A horny boss. Your trainer fucking you. You know, the stuff you think about every day.

This was old and corny even by the time I watched it, but I still remember getting off on the scenes. Even the odd Indian one.

Sometimes there are larger productions, but even then — it’s about stringing together scenarios. Sex isn’t just fun because it’s physical. It’s fun because it’s dangerous, taboo, in public, tense, awkward, etc. A good script can help bring those qualities out.

2. A Good Script Breaks Up the Marketing Monotony
Have you noticed how much porn is out there? Sure, you could just label your movie Two Athletic White Guys Fucking Parts 1 – 3,424,528,101, but after the 17,000 movie, everyone’s eyes start to glaze over. Scripts are the equivalent of a good ad campaign — it sticks in your mind, it makes it easy to communicate to a friend, it gives directors something to do and bloggers something to write about. So to extend the food metaphor, scripts are also a way to rotate the menu. Otherwise you’re just eating boneless skinless chicken breast every night. It’s boring for the cook, it’s boring for the servers, its boring for the diner. And a lot of time, it’s boring for the chicken. How do you sell skinless chicken breast? Give it a brand, and add a new sauce.

3. Some People Actually Like Stories
Not all women are content with erotica; not all men just want to see a butt-hole split open. For all of us who fast-forward, there are lots who like a little excitement. It lets you into the fantasy, allows you to imagine that such a thing could happen to you.

The first porn I ever bought was Lukas' Story 2. At the time, I got off as much on the story as Lukas.

4. Directors Like Making Them
You’ve got 8 to 10 guys hired for a shoot. What are you supposed to do with them? Line them up outside the bedroom door and shoot them one after the other? Scripts may have their problems, but I can think of fewer things more boring than assembly line of porn shoots. Directors are filmmakers; porn stars are performers. Scripts give them a chance to do something other than just punch a clock, which makes them to be more excited about what they’re doing. They’re a new recipe for the ingredients already in your cupboard.

Jack and I wrote this for Falcon a few years ago when they wanted something set in New Zealand. I think our story about some sort of totem was just an excuse for a location shoot.

5. Those Things You Think Aren’t Scripts Are Also Scripted
One of the hottest things I ever saw was an amateur porn where a guy talks about fucking his older brother. I have no idea if it was real, scripted, or some mix. Often scripts are just ways of setting things up, sort of like a Warhol movie or improv. This is your character. This is his character. This is the scenario. Go to it. The other things that you don’t think of as scripted, but really are: clothes, furniture, jocky attitude, California scenery. All these things tell you who’s fucking who and why: even if no words are exchanged.

Scoff if you want, but Cockyboys "The Haunting" was one of the sites most popular shoots ever, and helped put them on the map.

(And no — you don’t write the “oohs” and “ahhs.” The sex part of the script just generally reads “They have sex.” There are some things, even in a porn script, that shouldn’t be scripted.)

Christian Wilde on the set of the upcoming scripted "Frathouse Cream" (via @christianwildex)

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Into the Wilde, Christian’s attempt to film a fucket list of things he’s never done with his penis, debuted on NakedSword today with a cum shot on the Golden Gate Bridge — in a moving van. But anyone who’s followed Christrian’s career knows that he’s going to have to go pretty far to find things he hasn’t done. A round up of elves, watermelons and farm hands, after the jump …

A Disney star he is not. And, of course, he finally bottomed. So while I’ll give him that the Golden Gate bridge sex scene is pretty good trick, he’s running out of things that are legal. Christian’s got three more fantasies to go, and I have a feeling he’s looking for suggestions. What should Christian do with his penis next?

Connor Kline (formerly Bryce of Sean Cody) and Austin Wilde warm up before a Guys In Sweatpants scene with a game of hoops. Connor wasn’t all that bad, but it was Austin who ran the court. The sweaty, rim-side view of the game, after the jump …

Should it matter that they’re not ACTUALLY wearing sweatpants?

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Remember how innocent Andrew Jakk looked in all those selfies? Don’t be fooled. This week, after a sunny rubdown with Derek Atlas, the boys decide to get into a snowball fight. IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT. (It all becomes clear, after the jump ….)

By which I mean they cum in each others mouths and then kiss. The summer of raunch begins! More …

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I might have sexually imprinted on Kristen Bjorn’s Paradise Plantation. Because when I saw these lush new shots from Lucas’s Original Sinners, I found myself unusually turned on. Yes, yes — D.O. and the rest are stunning, but really, I think I was getting half hard on the jungle itself. Sigmund Freud, meet Edward Said. (And Joseph Conrad.)

Sweaty, burly and muscly scenes from Lucas’ summer blockbuster, all set to a close-but-no-copyright-infringement take on Led Zeppelin’s Kashmir — after the jump …

Now truthfully, this isn’t the first time that I’ve been turned by a palm frond. My trip to Hawaii early on with Lords of the Jungle really helped solidify any doubts that I had about what I was really after. And those Brazilian twins squelched any doubt. But this — not to mention the sex on the beach with a hairy Jesse Santana — have me crazy for the rest of the series. More …