A Coming Out Story

I got this email yesterday from a fan of Gay Porn Blog and it really touched me.

We all have our coming out stories, and this one proves that the community still has a long way to go to support our young folks. I wanted to reply back to him immediately, but I thought I’d better not, just in case Mom and Dad have prying eyes. My reply follows his letter. Did I leave anything out?

Subject: Thanks for your work
Attachments: There is 1 attachment

Hey, I just wanted to drop a line and tell you that I enjoy searching through your sight and reading the different articles you have posted. I just turned 18 and for my big ONE-EIGHT my folks gave me a great computer and turned off all the kiddie protection stuff. I promised I’d surf responsibly and I honestly don’t look for porn sites. I don’t have time for that. But I did find your site accidently when I mistyped a word that ended up referring to or looking like “blog”. (Honest, it was an accident….albeit a very fortunate one for me.)

I’ve only had one experience with guys, but it was hot enough for me to know that it’s not going to be a one time thing. Growing up in rural Utah really sucks, but fortunately for me, the experience was fairly recent, so I can look forward to going away to college next year (Stanford) and getting to explore more about this part of me.

It’s interesting that when I tell my folks I’m not going to “get involved” in porn, yours is the first site I come across, and yet, your’s isn’t a site about porn in a smutty or dirty sense. I’ll admit I’ve checked out some of the movies the Covered Sword (sic) people advertise on your site, and I’m glad to see that being gay doesn’t mean you’re some scarey creep preying on little boys. I can be gay and surround myself with some intelligent and normal (OK, who’s to say what that actually is) people. I’ll admit, too, that I look forward to the time I can see one of those movies all the way through. For now, though, I’ll just have to enjoy the trailers…and, believe me, I enjoy them.

So, after all that bullshit, what I’m trying to do is tell you that your site has helped me to see that I can live comfortably and at ease with being gay, and that all the crap the Mormons heap on gays is just that…uneducated and very prejudiced crap. I can be a good guy and live up to my potential just easily as a gay man as a straight man. At any rate, you’ve made it easier for me to put up with having to live here a little longer before I start college.

Thanks,

Timm

Dear Gentle Reader:

I’m so glad you enjoyed the site enough to write that nice letter! You make it sound like I’m doing god’s work here, but it’s really a labor of love (and lust…)

Here’s some advice for you:
-It’s OK to be gay. Through your travels in the next few years you will meet some absolutely fabulous gay people… and a few stinkers along the way, too.
-It’s OK to get turned on or masterbate to erotic images of men OR women.
-If your parents have been good to you, respect their wishes while you’re under their roof.
-Be patient. Yes, you’ve got a lot of angst built up ready to explode, but when you leave for college, don’t go crazy with sex, drugs and rock n roll. Learn to balance work and fun.
-Get your friends to vote Bush out, otherwise Ashcroft will regulate the porn industry out of existence before you get a chance to enjoy it!

I came out in the 70’s before the internet, home video, Will and Grace, Ellen, and Queer Eye. I led a sheltered, suburban life not unlike yours. There were no gay people in my family, my school or my neighborhood (that I knew of). My mother had a paperback copy of “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex” that sat on the bookshelf for years. I don’t know if she bought it for herself or for me to “find” on my own. Naturally, I went right for the chapter on “Homosexuality”. It claimed that gay life was exactly as you feared – “scarey creeps preying on little boys”. Yuck, I thought, “I can’t be gay, I’m not like that!” The inaccuracy of that book screwed up my sensibility towards gay life as well as millions of others who had no other access to the reality of the big, wide world out there. It took a long time for me to undo the damage, but more than half this country still thinks same sex marriage will bring on the apocalpse.

As for the Mormon influence being so pervasive in Utah, it’s happening in other places as well, but for some reason, it’s changing in Canada. I just got a link to this study that says, “Church Avoidance Tied to Gay Tolerance” – Canadians are more accepting of homosexuality because they spend less time in church than Americans, says well-known Canadian sociologist Reg Bibby.

Your well-written letter shows how bright you are, and the picture you enclosed (va-va-voom!) leaves no doubt that once you get to Stanford (just 45 minutes from Sodom On The Bay) you’ll beating off the boys with a stick. Be good to yourself, the people you love, and your community. Don’t be afraid to talk to older gay people, they’re not all after your virgin ass, and they can give you more useful advice than the messy young tweekers you’ll find in all the bars making a career out of being “fierce” (or whatever the current jargon is…) You can look forward to a wonderful, big gay life.

Please keep me updated! That’ll be SUPER!

Big Gay Al
Gay Porn Blog