You Vant to Suck My What? Gay Vampire Movies in Porn
I missed the gay vampire porn shot in True Blood on Sunday (His First Fangbang, right, as captured by Gay Porn Times) but the illness-as-metaphor series is hardly the first to make the connection between gays, sex and vampires. If you’d like a dissertation on the male gaze in vampires from Nosferatu to Buffy, ask an unemployed film major.
If you’re looking for disturbing porn versions involving pale boys and intimations of blood play, look no further.
The biggest deviation from the Robert Pattinson vampire movie is that hairless teen sexuality does not go unrequited. In fact, it gets requited in every hole available.
God love Rod Barry. Not only is he handsome, but he has this really cute way of making it appear that his penis is singing. Frankly, I’d like to see someone build a movie around that.
3. The Night Boys
The front of the box is actually pretty boring, but the back had Linda Evans in a cape and a story about Count Vladmir’s sex-slave-capturing valet, so all is forgiven.
4. Sons of Satan
Someone else can watch this one and let me know how it is. It looks like Alien Autopsy.
5. Cum Vampire
Actually, this one looks scarier.
While I’m being frank, I have no recollection of a vampire in Kristin Bjorn’s Vampire of Budapest, only that I came I came without touching myself.
I’m sure I’ve missed about a millenial’s worth of others — no horror porn list is really complete without an entry from Jett Blakk, right — but I’ll leave the you-idiot-you-totally-forgot-about work to you. I’m too busy looking at that Kristen Bjorn pic.