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You Vant to Suck My What? Gay Vampire Movies in Porn

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I missed the gay vampire porn shot in True Blood on Sunday (His First Fangbang, right, as captured by Gay Porn Times) but the illness-as-metaphor series is hardly the first to make the connection between gays, sex and vampires. If you’d like a dissertation on the male gaze in vampires from Nosferatu to Buffy, ask an unemployed film major.

If you’re looking for disturbing porn versions involving pale boys and intimations of blood play, look no further.

1. Twinklight

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The biggest deviation from the Robert Pattinson vampire movie is that hairless teen sexuality does not go unrequited. In fact, it gets requited in every hole available.


2. Thirst

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God love Rod Barry. Not only is he handsome, but he has this really cute way of making it appear that his penis is singing. Frankly, I’d like to see someone build a movie around that.

3. The Night Boys

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The front of the box is actually pretty boring, but the back had Linda Evans in a cape and a story about Count Vladmir’s sex-slave-capturing valet, so all is forgiven.

4. Sons of Satan

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Someone else can watch this one and let me know how it is. It looks like Alien Autopsy.

5. Cum Vampire

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Actually, this one looks scarier.

6. Vampire of Budapest

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While I’m being frank, I have no recollection of a vampire in Kristin Bjorn’s Vampire of Budapest, only that I came I came without touching myself.

I’m sure I’ve missed about a millenial’s worth of others — no horror porn list is really complete without an entry from Jett Blakk, right — but I’ll leave the you-idiot-you-totally-forgot-about work to you. I’m too busy looking at that Kristen Bjorn pic.

Mike

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5 Responses to “You Vant to Suck My What? Gay Vampire Movies in Porn”

  1. Mike says:

    You guys forgot “The Bite” with Jon Vincent and then they made “THe Bite 2″

    It was crazy to see Jon Vincent fucking in vampire teeth. I always hated these videos because I found the teeth and costumes a distraction from the sex.

  2. Jett Blakk says:

    Yeah, Mike, in addition to THE BITE movies, you missed LAID BY A VAMPIRE and QUEER OF THE DAMNED. Aiden Shaw played a vampire character that was unrelated to the main story in 2 or 3 Catalina videos (I remember a scene in one of them where Joey Morgan gives Aiden Shaw a BJ through a lattice fence. The camera kept cutting to closeups of Aiden’s fangs through the hole.). There was a porn flick, the title of which escapes me, about a young man who looked into a mirror and it became an open window to other worlds where guys were having sex. In one, two guys dressed in leather are fucking, and suddenly the top bites the bottom in the neck with his fangs. The bottom collapses, obviously playing dead, and the top keeps screwing him in an unbridled burst of play-necrophilia.

    Finally, probably the most well-known gay vampire porn film, the pre-condom classic GAYRACULA starring Tim Kramer wearing the black cape and nothing else.

    JBK

  3. Jett Blakk says:

    Oh, and coincidently, I had just watched a low-budget bi one-scener called VAMPIRE SEDUCTION about a vampire couple who seduce and bite a priest. There was another bi vampire film starring Drew Andrews and Vic Hall whose title I can’t remember.

    JBK

  4. Alex says:

    The Bite 2 was probably the best of all the ones I have seen. They need to release a good vampire movie, and I’m not talking about Twinklight. Titan needs to get a script going. That’d be hot.

  5. ole toker says:

    i saw a vampire movie when i lived in scialy in the early 70s.i cant recall the name,but the main vampire way preferd young men over women.at one point he beats one of his servints for a 3 female meal he brings him,no men.the guys were hot 20 something farm hand types,though 1 was a young man just out of school.cant rember its name,if anyone does please leave its name(no sex in the movie,so no its not a adult one)

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