Mukhtar Safarov: The Biggest Dick That Never Was
Last month, QueerClick did an short piece on a Russian/Brazilian go-go dancer-turned-porn-star named Mukhtar Safarov and his alleged “9×9 Brick”. At first glance of his gi-nor-mous cock, my jaw dropped, but then I quickly came to my senses and dismissed it as a photoshop job. Yet he kept cropping up: Around the same time, on the topic of Mukhtar Safarov, BitchLess Blog wrote:
Mukhtar Safarov’s penis is reportedly 9×9. Isn’t 9×9 like a brick? You have to see Mukhtar penis to believe it, it doesn’t even look functional, it looks more butt-plug than penis.
More posts, more improbable pics of an unlikely cock (an exciting new gay porn meme?) I rationalized: Maybe he pumps it? Could it be silicone injected? I’ve never seen him go-go dance or any of his three movies (Meat!, from Eurocreme, “Fire Dance” from Kristen Bjorn and Uniforms from Liquid London) but maybe I’d be a believer if I saw them?Earlier this week, even Fleshbot got on the Mukhtar bandwagon prompting me to scrutinize him more closely. I should have trusted my instincts (but I guess if you want to believe something badly enough, you suspend your common sense.)
Browswing an image gallery on Mukhtar’s own site, I found the following image (below, left), which matched the cover image of Meat! (below, right) … sort of:
Looking even closer — especially around his fingers — you can see what a crap-ass photoshop job this is.
Why do I even care? The designation of “biggest dick” isn’t something to be thrown around lightly in an industry plagued with egos as big as the hyperbole used to promote their movies. Earlier this year Chad Hunt and Michael Lucas practically came to blows when Lucas muttered that his newest exclusive, Ben Andrews, had “the biggest dick in gay porn”. (As a postscript, they appear to have made amends). Meanwhile, Studio 2000 recently (and somewhat timidly) threw their hat into the “biggest” arena by declaring that their newest exclusive, Jake Havoc, has the “thickest dick in porn.”
Also, I’m just sort of flummoxed — in part that someone thought they could fool sophisticated gay size queens with remedial photoshop trickery — but also because, well, he did. No one’s going to shoot you for inflating your Manhunt profile (I just might hem and haw a bit), but using these photos to get go-go gigs and to solicit clients for his “highly successful” escorting business seems pointless. (There may be some disappointed size queens at next month’s Hustla Ball in Berlin, where he’ll be performing.)
Ironically Queerclick — the site that seems to have started this all — originally posted unaltered images from a MenAtPlay layout of Mukhtar with real-life boyfriend Maurice over a year and a half ago. These are the clearest images of his cock I can find (below, left): While it’s certainly not small … it (very sadly) is no 9×9 brick (compare to below, right).
If anyone’s seen any of his movies, or has any information that might prove me wrong, please chime in. I’d love to believe in the myth of Mukhtar Safarov and the 9×9 inch brick . … but until he slaps me in the face with it, I will remain a firm (er, flacid?) disbeliever.