Working Stiffs: Gay Porn’s
Ten Twelve Biggest Dicks
There’s some big business in the gay porn industry and it’s counted in inches, not dollars. After all the caterwauling about Mr. Hunt, we thought we’d put together our list of the industry’s biggest dicks. To be fair, we limited it to those still making movies. In no particular order (and subject to the ruler test and bitching by the peanut gallery) …
1. Chad Hunt
You’ve said your peace about this man’s piece, but you’d be hard pressed to find a bigger star working today. I don’t even think they make that many inches anymore.
‘Top’ Movies: Velvet Mafia, Other Side of Aspen 5
His summer pissing contest with Chad Hunt may have resulted in a draw (and the old “but mine’s thicker” face-saver), but he’s young enough to have been found by Lucas through his MySpace profile. That ought to count for something.
Video Clips:Auditions 10, Michael Lucas’ La Dolce Vita
3. Ralph Woods
It looks like a donkey penis, frankly. I was totally scarred by his scene in the Big Dick Club. Still, I wouldn’t turn down a sandwich with him and ex-love Pierre Fitch.
Video Clips: Big Dick Club, Spokes III
4. Diesel Washington
Titan’s newest star has a jaw-breaking 11 inches that rivals his rivals. The fact that he made it through Folsom Filth alive is an even greater strength to his, um, potential.
Video Clips: Folsom Filth, Red Light, Hooker Stories: Rough Trade (below)
5. Michael Brandon
His recent movie load has been light (though he still does webcam shows) now that he’s directing his Monster Bang line for Raging Stallion, but he’s can still give his dildo a run for the money. My jaw dropped when I first got a glimpse of “Monster,” his aptly named sidekick (or is that kick-stand) and it hasn’t closed since.
Video Clips: Way Below the Belt, Terms of Endowment
7. Tom Chase
When hirsute former COLT and Falcon superstar Tom Chase came out of retirement this past year to film with COLT, porn bottoms everywhere began trembling.
Video Clips: Backwoods, California Kings
8. Jason Crew
Oh, he’s crazy like a fox (or maybe he just a fox. Or just crazy.). Crew’s he’s got gorgeous eyes, more energy than than a rabbit on speed and a cock that works like a jackhammer. His early days as an amateur named “Speedy” are behind him and he’s got at least 10 inches in front of him.
Top Movies: Big Rig, Diamond Auto.
9. Trevor Knight
It’s so big that he has a hard time keeping it in his pants. On the set of Studio 2000’s Wildlands, the stud left it out for “inspiration” for the other actors. More like “intimidation.”
Top Movies: Above, Trevor Knight in Point and Shoot. Also, Roughin’ It
10. Michael Lucas
He’s been called the biggest dick in porn by more people than I can count — and he’s got a huge cock, too. All kidding aside, the Lucas charm flows like water in a fountain and even pretenders to the throne concede that his conceit is well earned.
Top movies: Michael Lucas’ La Dolce Vita, Dangerous Liaisons
Der! So drunk on big cock … so rushed to get this up … please forgive us, cocklords, for these two glaring omissions!
11. Brad Patton:
How, exactly, does this Buckshot Man and former Falcon exclusive skate the ice so gracefully when he’s got this beercan swinging between his legs? A rare big-dick treat: he gives and receives, ever since his bottoming debut in Heaven To Hell.
12. Ricky Martinez
Though he’s not from Nantucket, this alleged straight man can’t resist sucking it: that’s how meaty his uncut slab is. Or maybe he’s just a big fag under all that tough-trade talk. Either way, Ricky Martinez’s “anaconda” is one of our faves! Don’t miss his award-winning “solo” jerk-off/self-suck with Arpad Miklos in Buckleroos to see him at his finest!